Plucky Prowlers Make Off With Unlocked Box Of Dead Cat – February 3, 2010
• Tuesday, December 15 10:30 a.m. When roommates argued over her not having a job, he said she picked up a knife and stabbed a counter.
• Wednesday, December 16 4:11 a.m. When an F Street laundromat was burglarized, some Sheriff’s uniforms hanging in the window may have been taken.
12:05 p.m. A Beverly Drive resident complained that his neighbor was throwing cat shit at his truck and also somewhat more daintily placing said feces on the hood. The neighbor is reportedly upset that the cat craps in his yard. A surveillance system is being installed to capture the potentially petulant poopscapades.
1:32 p.m. The staff of an 11th street business reported a man and woman drove up and took pictures of the place. The burglar alarm has been spuriously tripped, too.
1:48 p.m. A bicyclist was struck on Fiickle Hill road.
5 p.m. A woman with purple hair and skirt wandered drunkenly in traffic on Alliance Road, until arrested and taken to jail.
5:05 p.m. After picking his children up from a residential address, a man reported that they “smell like weed.”
• Friday, December 18 8:37 a.m. A man in dreads, an Indian poncho and pajama pants yelled outside a Ninth street service center until ambulanced to a mental health facility.
4:44 p.m. An 11th Street resident left his car unlocked with the inevitable attempted theft following. But during his larcenous labors, the would-be stereo stealer knocked the shifter out of gear, causing the car to roll backwards 15 yards and crash into a neighbor’s car.
9:41 p.m. A ponytailed man in gray pants went kookoo at an 11th Street supermarket, breaking the ice cream cooler with his fist and throwing garbage all over the place. An employee locked herself in the store until police arrived. Security video was reviewed, but the man wasn’t located at a Lewis Avenue residence.
• Saturday, December 19 11:29 a.m. A girlfriend reported a boyfriend yelling at her and “getting in my face.”
8:57 p.m. The enchantment of a man’s buzz-cut-and-goatee-combo was offset somewhat by his belligerent ’tude when he insisted on smoking stinkarettes in the non-smoking area at a Westwood coffee house.
• Sunday, December 20 9:26 a.m. Two unlocked bikes, valued at $5-600 and $700, were donated to thieves on lower Beverly Drive.
• Monday, December 21 3:05 a.m. Apparently bereft of the bongos normally utilized to annoy neighbors with repetitive noise in the wee hours, residents of a Samoa Boulevard apartment took to chanting their way onto the annals of Arcata crime history.
8:37 a.m. A car hit a hydrant at Sunset Avenue and Wilson Street, creating the usual festive water plume.
12:19 p.m. Two hoodie-bedecked youths did the world’s sloppiest drug deal in Antoinette Court, fleeing and leaving behind a bog of marijuana and two water pipes.
3:43 p.m. A crazed woman entered an H Street business and ripped up paperwork.
• Tuesday, December 22 3:50 p.m. A driver jabbering on a cell phone nearly struck a couple of pedestrians crossing Eighth and G streets.
• Wednesday, December 23 5:33 p.m. A man passed out in an H Street alley was in a bad way, lying by the dumpster with no shoes or socks on. Police found him drunkety drunk-drunk.
• Thursday, December 24 11:04 a.m. A marijuana shipment was intercepted at an Eighth Street shipping facility.
• Christmas 7:25 p.m. Yuletide festivities at an Olympia Street home included two stepsons and a wife allegedly kicking dad in the face, hitting him and flagellating him to some extent with a “lead” rope. A neighbor carried him to safety.
• Saturday, December 26 10:48 p.m. A woman said that the residents in Apt. 34 were amusing themselves by throwing beer cans at her car.
• Sunday, December 27 7:54 a.m. A Lynn Street resident noticed two deer in his backyard, the more timorous of which became “scared” and tried to jump the back fence. That failed, and the deer was next reported lying on the ground next to the fence, “shivering.” Police arrived and found it deceased, apparently of humiliation.
4:37 p.m. Two men with distinctively ropey-styled hair were reported trying to steal plants out of the ground on Seventh Street, but they gave up and drove away.
• Monday, December 28 8:25 a.m. A man punched a woman in the face at Fifth and I streets, then noticed that someone had seen him. He yelled at the witness and told him to mind his own business on the premise that women being beaten on streetcorners is something to ignore.
10:12 a.m. An H Street man did a wake and bake, the effects of which went sadly sour when he became upset about his broken sink and then got into an argument with his roommate.
1:24 p.m. Men in camouflage affirmed their oneness with nature by blasting passing ducks out of the sky with big rifles from a South F Street field. One of them told an officer his dad owned the land, but wasn’t aware that it is part of Arcata, where discharge of firearms is a big no-no.
1:42 p.m. A parking dispute on Boyd Road led to a tow truck being called. The owner squatted on the hood to prevent his car from being taken away, but when negotiations failed, all the brazen bonnet squattage had been for naught.
3:55 p.m. A D Street Volvo owner moved away, but left the green car there. One morning, a nearby resident awoke to find it painted “bright” and all the windows broken out.
5:52 p.m. Three frolicsome boys on L.K. Wood Boulevard displayed their pasty behinds to horrified passersby.
5:57 p.m. When a theatre worker refused to sell a 20-something man an adult beverage without ID, the petulant punk threw a pint glass at the movie screen, tried to assault the manager and then ran away, all of which affirmed the rationale behind the initial alcohol refusal.
• Tuesday, December 29 9:15 a.m. A veterinarian’s shed on Giuntoli Lane was left unlatched over the weekend, so of course anything of value, or not, was stolen. That would include animal remains, which may or may not be fungible for a pull on that 40 ’neath the freeway overpass. Police said they’d get back in touch if a box with a dead cat inside turns up.
10:44 a.m. A 14-year-old skated on the Plaza, where his wallet fell out of his pantaloons. Three travelers – two women and a man – set upon the plopped pocketbook and immediately gutted it of any value. A gift card with $25 in remaining value was redeemed for unknown items – probably cheap crap – at a Uniontown variety store. The male of the crew flipped the emptied wallet back at the boy as his tawdry entourage exited the emporium. The lad went inside to investigate, and an employee told him that “three homeless people” had used the card.
11:21 a.m. Over the weekend, thievin’ bastids who were somewhat more energetic than the ’Zoids who plunder 14-year-olds’ wallets roved the grounds of a Weott Way medical facility, looking for opportunity. They siphoned $80 in gas from a van, entered an unlocked storage unit and tried to get into other storage sheds.
• Thursday, December 31 12:50 a.m. “Give me the money,” said two hooded males to a robbery victim in a crime-riddled Valley West field.
9:06 a.m. The Volvo formerly known as maroon prompted another call from D Street, describing it as being painted different colors with all its windows broken out and parked the wrong way.
1:36 p.m. A loose bull charged around the area of 10th and Q streets. It was diverted back to captivity.
3:23 p.m. An officer followed up on a Child Welfare Services report that a father had touched his nine-year-old daughter in an inappropriate manner. Told of the report, he “became instantly enraged and completely denied the incident.” The man said the girl had been bitten by a spider or bee and fallen in front of the home. He had taken her pants and shoe off to see if the bug was still there, then drove her to the hospital. The officer called the girl’s mother, who attested the father wouldn’t have harmed the child.
9:14 p.m. Someone reported people siphoning gas in a Bayside Road parking lot. When sighted, a man ran away down the hill toward Union Street, leaving his possessions behind. An officer found a car with a woman in it, who said that the man had gone to get some gas.
10:43 p.m. As the new year approached, various forms of celebratory excess reared their bubbly heads. In one instance, a man took a final swig from a brown beer bottle, then flung the husk into the vacant lot on Tavern Row.
• Friday, January 1 12:28 a.m. A police car struck a woman at Seventh and H streets, and reverse-hilarity ensued.
