Behind The Curtain 13 – A Typical Stoner

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A little wet, warm tickle on her cheek told Jill it was time to get up and let the dog out.

“Honey, wake up, Oliver needs to go outside.” a voice said from the bathroom.

“You let him out,” Jill said, rolling back over and hitting the snooze button a second time.

“Good morning, baby,” Andrea said, leaning over and giving Jill a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, coffee.”

Once in the kitchen Jill went through the morning ritual of grinding the coffee beans, pouring the grounds into a filter, and waiting as the aroma filled the kitchen.

“Mmm, Kinetic Coffee,” she said, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply.

Andrea took a wooden box out of the pantry cupboard, sat down and began the ritual of cutting up the buds, packing the weed into a pipe and waiting for Jill to bring coffee to the table. “Ah, organic, grown outside in the sun,” Andrea said, closing her eyes and putting a large bud to her nose.

“That’s not funny,” Jill said. “Crack is bad!”

“That’s what it’s called. I can’t help it,” Andrea said, laughing, passing the pipe to Jill. “Are you going to get your 215 this week?”

“For what, relaxing?” Jill laughed, paused, and took a hit of the joint. “Oh yeah, doctor, I need to chill.”

“Tell them you are suffering from stress,” Andrea offered.

Jill looked at the clock. “I think there’s time for a walk this morning,” she said to Oliver as he danced with joy. “I’ll leave the creative process of acquiring a 215 to you, Ms. Chronic Pain.”

“Don’t get me started about my pain,” Andrea countered. “You should be legal.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Just don’t get me started about the $150 annual renewal fee.  Wait, have we had this conversation before?”

“See you tonight,” Andrea said, giving Oliver a pat and Jill a kiss before the two went out the door.

Jill headed up 14th Street to the forest. It was a beautiful day in Arcata.

Andrea pulled the car into her parking space. She looked in her rear view mirror and could see a well-meaning citizen walking quickly toward her car.

“Morning Andrea,” the woman smiled. “Did you see the headline? What are we going to do about this?”

The woman was carrying a copy of the Arcata Eye with details of an indoor grow bust on the front page.

“Good morning, Lucy, we’re working on it,” Andrea said, getting out of her car.

“They are ruining our neighborhoods!” the woman exclaimed, waving the paper above her head.

“I know, Lucy,” Andrea said, grimacing as she opened the door to City Hall.

“By the way, dear, how are you feeling? How’s that pain?” the woman asked.

“I’m doing alright,” Andrea said. “It’s under control. Thank you for asking.”