Ryan Hurley: Huge Democracy Geek Even Votes In Primaries – June 2, 2010
This tabloid headline accompanies the October 3, 2002 The Onion article about a politically engaged citizen who, according to the story’s breathless, are-you-effing-kidding-me? tone has voted “in every federal, state and local election since he turned 18.”
I’m guessing that right about now a lot of Eye readers are asking themselves, “You mean I’m a geek just because I’ve voted in every primary since Stillman ran for City Council… the first time?”
For the uninitiated: Although The Onion touts itself as “America’s Finest News Source,” it is in point of fact anything but – the website’s articles are 100 percent fake. Only hardcore geeks vote in primaries? Yeah, right, the story implies. Nobody votes in primaries.
In a lot of towns, this sentiment would hold sadly true. I mean, why would flyover country trade-in its precious Celebrity Apprentice or American Idol tube-viewing-window to actually vote in a race that might not decide… well, technically, anything?
You see, the June 8 primary doesn’t necessarily, by itself, resolve a great many of the races on the ballot. That’s because so many candidates are clogging the June 8 primary contest that even such down-card races as that of Assessor – not to mention the billboard-grabbing contests for District Attorney and County Supervisors – could conceivably result in a November “runoff” election wherein… you guessed it, we’re forced to abandon our glowing rectangles yet again to engage in this silly experiment in democracy.
So… do you actually bother to vote in primaries? See you at the polling place, you glorious geek.
Ryan Hurley, aka captain Buhne, operates the Eureka Now! blog. ekanow.blogspot.com
