Shambolic Scalvagers Buttnap The Blight Craptastic – July 21, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

• Sunday, June 20 12:06 p.m. A car in Tina Court was treated to free toppings – chocolate sauce and baby powder.

2:09 p.m. A woman reported her boyfriend having taken her money, food stamp card and motel room key.

4:11 p.m. A “really tall” man with curly hair doubly-insulted a woman near a Uniontown variety store by sticking out his tongue and middle finger at her.

4:12 p.m. A man was reported kneeling in the roadway on the Plaza, then wandering in McKinley’s direction as all wiggo wingnuts are wont to do at one time or another. As an officer drove him to the hospital, he forewarned the ER that the guy might be “on LSD” and to have restraints ready. There, he was deemed drunk and so obstreperous that he had to be ferried to the bin and its berserker-friendly rubber rooms.

3:35 p.m. Drunk.

5:17 p.m. A falling-down drunk in Valley West earned his description, sustaining a head injury.

6:05 p.m. A woman was reported struck by a white truck that continued northward on Alliance Road, and at first, medical aid was refused. The husband called back after a while, asking for police assistance because his wife couldn’t walk, and he needed a ride for himself, her and their infant child. But he still declined an ambulance and a taxi.

8:49 p.m. An employee at a South G Street scrapyard complained of “multiple people speeding in the area.”

8:11 p.m. A hoodied figure with a backpack stood at the footbridge linking Stromberg Avenue with the Janes Creek subdivision, increasing the sketchiness factor involved with traversing the lonely creek crossing. He told police he would walk to a friend’s house to get a ride home.

11:11 p.m. A gaggle of campers clumped up under the Seventh Street west side of the freeway overpass. Police encouraged them to shuffle off, except for that one guy who was drunk and uncooperative. He wouldn’t or couldn’t give his name, but did disclose that he was from Atlantic City.

• Monday, June 21 2:52 a.m. A man who purchased a pack of cigarettes at an Alliance Road mini-mart snagged a case of beer on the way out.

2:52 a.m. Wee-hour recycling bandits were easy to spot with their supermarket shopping cart at 11th and A streets. One was arrested on a warrant.

11 a.m. A pickup truck with two tethered pit bulls in the bed was parked on H Street on the Plaza, its occupants barking and lunging at all who passed. The driver agreed to move the startlemobile.

12:28 p.m. An Alliance Road tenant moved out, but keeps coming back and entering the garage to use the washer and dryer.

4:55 p.m. A witness reported a youth plastering an S Street school with stickers, and climbing down off the school’s roof. Police located the lad on his skateboard at Janes Road and Haeger Avenue and called the father to the scene, then went back to the school to take pictures of the stickerage.

6:34 p.m. A pharmacist reported that a prescription drug user had altered the ’scrip to get more morphine sulfate.

8:07 p.m. A man who had gone off his Abilify told police he was going to step in front of a car and end it all. He was returned to the mental institution from which he had been released only weeks earlier.

9:35 p.m. A Hallen Drive resident reported that someone had placed a “device” of some unknown type in her attic to scare her, but that she was going to bed and wouldn’t answer the door for an officer.

11:06 p.m. The woman called back about the noise above her apartment, and this time she said she’d let the officer in. No noise could be heard, nor attic access from her apartment located. The auditory problems may have been medication- or age-related, and she was to go to the doctor in the morning.

• Tuesday, June 22 6:28 a.m. A dead car was moved out of the roadway on Alliance Road.

8:02 a.m. A foreign exchange student was distraught with homesickness, and left her host family’s house with all her luggage. The host said her behavior was uncharacteristic and may have been influenced by an unknown substance. The young woman was found and returned to the home, and everyone seemed fine.

8:40 a.m. A California Avenue resident reported seeing travelers on the roadside in the early morning, possibly campers who sleep in the woods.

11:39 a.m. A baby was reportedly left unattended near a brushy area of G Street, with four or five persons “deep in the brush” nearby. The child was found to be fine, and the guardian was advised of the complaint.

1:09 p.m. A man in a “Caltrans button-up shirt” and blue backpack was reported walking around at Seventh and F streets. He was found in good condition, singing to himself even.

1:22 p.m. A man in a brown hoodie was found on the back porch of a South F Street business scalvaging for discarded cigarette butts and was asked to leave. But he and a colleague loitered in the area near their standard-issue craptastic camper bus, seemingly waiting until no one was around so that they could return for the coveted buttage (which is very, very bad for them). Police warned the lingerers and found that the vehicle’s registration had expired in 2006.

1:25 p.m. Three men smoked a shared “substance” (not gummy bears) in Stewart Park, and a woman who called from nearby felt sufficiently menaced by them that she didn’t want to go outside. They were gone when police arrived.

3:02 p.m. An alleged shoplifter was caught and detained at an I Street supermarket, and while she was cooperative, her boyfriend who hadn’t stolen anything made a big fuss about the situation. His parole agent recommended against taking him into custody, but the incident was added to his record.

10:41 p.m. A drunken motorcyclist was seen running stop signs on West End Road and then Spear Avenue, barely able to stay on his bike. He was arrested and his motorcycle towed.

• Wednesday, June 23 2:16 a.m. A man who had been moaning and banging on someone’s 13th Street front door was arrested.

9:55 a.m. A toolbox left in an unlocked vehicle in the 800 block of Fifth Street was found:

a. Stuffed with gold bouillon

b. Stolen

c. Tattooed

d. Fluoridated

(Answer below)

10:53 a.m. A man in the 14th Street Redwood Park lot was unfamiliar with the operation of the dog leash attached to his pit bull. An officer notified him that he was supposed to hold on to the other end of the lead, then gave him a ticket.

11 a.m. A friendly, tag-leass puppy was left tied up behind the library, possibly needing medical attention. A citizen volunteered to take it to the shelter.

4:16 p.m. A volunteer at a Ninth Street resource center said an employee had pointed a knife at him and threatened to throw it at him. He told the supervisor, but was told his complaint was “petty.”

7:43 p.m. An off-leash dog attacked a leashed dog near the Marsh oxidation ponds.

• Thursday, June 24 10:37 a.m. A cell phone left in an unlocked car on Heather Lane was:

a. Tarred and feathered

b. Threatened with a knife

c. Stolen

d. Baked in a pie

(Answer below)

11:09 a.m. As a health club member exercised, someone cut the locks off both of his lockers and stole his wallet, credit cards, $70 cash and a $50 traveler’s check.

12:38 p.m. Three men smoked marijuana at Ninth and J streets.

1:14 p.m. An alleged shoplifter was arrested at a 13th Street marketplace.

2:01 p.m. An alleged shoplifter was arrested at an I Street cooperative supermarket.

2:03 p.m. Six men smoked marijuana at Ninth and J streets.

2:57 p.m. A Coombs Court residence was either paintballed or egged.

• Friday, June 25 12:07 p.m. A K Street car wash puts up locking straps to block access to the stalls during non-business hours. But someone unknown denizen of darkness came along in the night, decided that This. Shall. Not. Stand. and cut one of the straps.

12:39 p.m. A K Street business reported an employee having stolen money and a company vehicle.

5:10 p.m. An employee of a West End Road business was reported shooting at birds.

6:02 p.m. A bag of trim was tossed into a Lewis Avenue backyard, and not yours (boo-hoo!).

6:58 p.m. If looks could convict, the guy in an Arcata-bound county bus would have been in a dungeon somewhere. Tats, rolling papers falling out of his pockets, a glazed, “high on something” look. To one observer, he looked just like a murder suspect who escaped from Juvenile Hall two months ago. But Juvie reported that the suspect in question was safely contained in his cell.

9:35 p.m. Because of the grow house home invasion robbery on same street a while back, when unknown persons knocked on another Maria Court front door this time of night, the resident hid in the closet and called police. Police found nothing awry, but put the street on extra patrols.

10:02 p.m. A woman walking down F Street from the Ball Park reported being followed by a “bum” carrying garbage bags over his shoulder. When she got in her truck, the man grabbed the door frame, so she honked the horn and the guy shambled away.

• Saturday, June 26 1:17 a.m. A man and three women, all drunk, walked southbound on L.K. Wood Boulevard, knocking over any trash cans with the brazen temerity to cross their path.


• Wednesday, June 23 9:55 a.m. b. Stolen

• Thursday, June 24 10:37 a.m. c. Stolen