Nice Stick Buddy, But I Have An Appointment – March 29, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

• Friday, February 19 11:59 a.m. A Redwood Park user reported that about a hundred yards up the trail was a complete set of woman’s clothing. An officer found the clothes near a tree stump. The ensemble included a pair of pants with a belt still in the loops, a red shirt, a flowered dress, blue panties and one boot. The area all around the clothes was searched, but nothing more found. The wet clothes were dried and booked into found evidence.

9:37 p.m. In days of old, Arcatans would gather on weekends and entertain each other with piano and choral recitals, dramatic presentations and service club fellowship rituals. But decades of societal evolution later, still more refined and exquisite amusements engage the populace, such as those enjoyed by several shadowy figures on Janes Road seen stomping on a pile of trash. After exhausting the merriment potential of the flattened garbage, the stompers piled into a car and drove away. An officer later arrived to place cones around the debris left in the roadway.

• Sunday, February 20 4:25 p.m. A Stromberg Avenue resident reported his car’s side mirror smashed as well as those of surrounding neighbors.

5:38 p.m. A man’s drunken episode left his partner battered, with bite marks and a destroyed bedroom.

• Monday, February 21 2:24 a.m. A man on 13th Street was reported digging through trash with a bald head.

6:55 a.m. An RV in Todd Court had been used as a home for a couple weeks before the neighborhood got fed up and called police. One of the residents was wanted on a warrant, and was extradited to some unspecified jurisdiction.

10:54 a.m. Almost every morning, the businessfolk along Samoa Boulevard survey their grounds for residual scummage left behind by the previous night’s campers – typically, spent alcohol husks, sleeping bags and human waste. This morning, a parking lot was decorated with liquor bottles and a splay of white pills.

3:32 p.m. A man sporting the classic beard-and-knit-cap combo whiled away the afternoon under a tree at Ninth and H streets, banging on cans and bottles.

• Tuesday, February 22 4:57 a.m. An artillery barrage erupted between two Valley West motels, Well actually one motel did all the barraging, and it wasn’t really the motel, just the woman in Room 119, who threw a rock into the pool house of the establishment next door.

9:34 a.m. A man confronted another citizen along Tavern Row, calling him a “snitch,” braying profanities and waving something described as a “garbage stick” at him. The victim of the shaven-headed castigator’s multimedia wrath had to break off the performance for an appointment.

4:37 p.m. Not even drunk-guy focused ferocity can outwit a pair of handcuffs deployed on the Plaza’s northwest side.

5:08 p.m. A man reported that his son’s debit card had been used in the Bay Area and is now in use in Puerto Rico.

8:01 p.m. A guest complained THC smog from Room 120 was drifting across the hall and into Room 119. An officer responded, and while one answered the door at 119, as the officer was knocking, the guest in 120 came out in a billow of dope smoke.

• Wednesday, February 23 4:37 a.m. A seemingly drunken woman wandered into an all-night variety store in Uniontown, asking employees for alcohol and food.

11:35 a.m. A man reported his truck and garage door covered in eggs, and his Eureka business egged as well. At first he thought he knew who had done it, but then a neighbor said another egging had taken place in the neighborhood the previous week.

4:48 p.m. A man on the Plaza discovered the bike which had been stolen from him last year, and an argument briefly flared with the current user.

5:22 p.m. After treatment at the hospital pain clinic rendered a man not competent to drive, a friend came to pick him up. But when the two walked outside, the friend handed the car keys over to the impaired patient.

• Wednesday, February 24 6:33 a.m. A citizen yelled at a loose, aggressive dog on Ridge Road, at which point its master commanded, “Kill!,” and asked for a cigarette. Police found the man on L.K. Wood Boulevard and cited him for allowing a dog to run at large.

9:40 a.m. A citizen reported an ongoing problem with someone who lives outside of Arcata. She was afraid that he was going to “sick” [sic] his dog on her. Not that he had ever threatened to do this; she was just worried that he would.

9:45 a.m. Two guests in Valley West motel room wouldn’t answer the door, so management couldn’t talk to them about the pot smoke seeping out under the door.

10:21 a.m. A man complained of his landlord stalking him, possibly stealing his mail and cat.

11:57 a.m. When an ex-roommate offers to “put you in the hospital,” it’s time to change the locks.

12:05 p.m. At the lowest-budget Valley West motel, a woman didn’t check out on time, and left her two dogs in the room. The rottweiler was aggressive, so county Animal Control was called in with a catchpole.