Cannabis Perma-Cloud Traced To Plaza Stoner Vortex – November 29, 2011

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

• Tuesday, October 19 2:12 a.m. 

A K Streeter, somewhat appalled

Heard bongos, then smelled alcohol

At a street-facing condo

Where folks were not fond o’

The fact that the cops had been called

8:46 a.m. Among the new features an unknown and apparently unskilled carpenter left behind in a Minor Alley stairwell were a hammer, holes in the walls and some blood.

8:15 p.m. A three-year-old pit bull mix named “Little Man” was reported shot in the foot by a driver-by while its owner camped off State Route 299 the previous night.

10:17 p.m. A man who said that he lived above a business on the Plaza complained that the noise from the Occupy Arcata camp on the Plaza was disturbing his peace. An officer checked the camp and found only protesters and campers talking amongst themselves, making less noise than nearby bar patrons.

• Wednesday, October 20 8:08 a.m. A two-week-old burglary at St. Mary’s School was reported. The thief likely entered through the old convent, and stole about $500 cash.

9:10 a.m. A man wearing a blue baseball cap with a shirt and tie exhibited financial expertise commensurate with his fashion sense by trying to fob a flinky check at a Plaza bank. When it brought up a warning message on a teller’s computer, the skinny-framed scammer beat a hasty retreat out the back door.

5:09 p.m. A disoriented man sat alone on the sidewalk by the transit center, his prosthetic leg resting on the pavement next to him.

• Thursday, October 21 4:14 a.m. A crazy person turned up at APD’s front door with a handful of “items,” one of which he claimed was Saddam Hussein’s handgun. It wasn’t, and he was deemed sufficiently scrambled to be taken to a mental health facility.

2:08 p.m. At 11th and K streets, the tires were slashed on a dilapidated horse trailer/off-site advertising kiosk for an unpermitted cannabis shop’s new location. Area residents and businesses in the old building thought they were rid of the carbuncular cannabis kingpin, but his legacy remains at the old location in the form of a succession of unsightly resentment-magnet ad trailers.

1:50 p.m. Some crusty old dude didn’t like the interest rates a bank offered, so he told two workers there that “You’ve got to be careful. You never know when your building will be burned down or bombed.” This genius quip earned him closure of his accounts and a call to police.

2:13 p.m. A man went into a gas station mini-mart for service and was refused. He noticed that his photo had been posted on the wall behind the counter for all the mini-mart-attending public to behold, stating that he had been “86’d” from the place. He wanted to know if that was legal, and to see if police could get the store to remove it.

6:28 p.m. A man stole some soup from a Uniontown supermarket deli and sequestered himself in front of a nearby shop to ingest it. He was arrested.

8:37 p.m. A car and deer collided on East 17th Street, the car sustaining damage but the deer getting the worst of it. It wasn’t quite dead, but wasn’t going to get any better so an officer dispatched the broken forager.

• Friday, October 22 10:16 a.m. A man in white shorts was reported shooting a pellet gun at birds atop a cannabis dispensary at Sixth and I streets. He turned out to be a casually attired security guard, and said he was trying to kill a raccoon with a BB gun. He was advised of the legal entanglements involved with discharging air weapons in town as well as killing animals.

12:33 p.m. Technically, a man and woman had been in love or a serviceable approximation thereof up until the previous night. Then they not only broke up, but fragmented into brittle shards of recrimination regarding minutia of cell phone ownership and unlovely statements like “Watch your back.”

1:42 p.m. 

Three drummers, when asked to please stop

Pressed on with their bloviant bop

The Plaza resounding

With trance-blasting pounding

Up till the arrival of cops

2:11 p.m. 

The drumming just couldn’t be quelled

And one listener’s mind didn’t meld

With bongo emblarement

The mental impairment

Left bongophobe-man living-helled

3:28 p.m. 

The bongo complainant, half-nutters

Called back with his ears again cluttered

By throbulent rhythms

No more could he listen

And closed up shop, leaving it shuttered

7:26 p.m. A fresh veteran of some punchy-punchy said he would rather mill around in front of the donut shop bleeding from the nose than receive medical attention.

8:41 p.m. An unlocked mountain bike on L street didn’t last an hour in the driveway, but the thief did leave an old bicycle in its place.

• Saturday, October 23 6:34 p.m. A man at the police station front door said that he had a buck knife that belonged to god and he wanted to return it. If he did so, it was via a Eureka mental health facility.

• Sunday, October 24 6:31 a.m. An Alliance Road resident’s alarm clock went off next to an open window, the sound echoing throughout the apartment complex. This drew a security guard who pounded on the resident’s door, which only added to the noise.

12:27 p.m. An argumentative sort of fellow was reported walking toward the center of the Plaza. He should have been easy to spot, given his distinguishing characteristics: a backpack and long hair.

1:06 p.m. Someone complained about an ugly horse trailer which was advertising marijuana at 11th and K streets.

1:20 p.m. A man locked his bike on the Plaza and forgot about it. When he went back a few weeks later, it was gone. Not surprising, as one night on the Plaza is like a year in any other place.

2:21 p.m. A woman observed a man in a truck pull up and stop at Alliance Road and Foster Avenue, take a dead cat out of his car, set it down on the curb and drive away.

4:52 p.m. A cell phone butt-dialed 911, transmitting pocket noises plus the sound of a woman singing in the background.

5:32 p.m. A woman called to say that a road construction worker had hit her car with a stick while she was en route to Samoa. She was asked to return so an officer could view the damage, but she wanted an officer to confront the construction crew, ask them which one had hit her car with a stick and then “fire them or something.” She was asked to return to identify the stick-man, but she would only do so if police would give her $25 for gas. She hung up, but a short time later Eureka Police called APD, saying she had called the police on the police, complaining about APD’s response.

5:33 p.m. After a woman’s methadone was stolen from her apartment, she resolved to implement two new polices: 1. Don’t let random people into her home. 2. Hide her meds better.

• Monday, October 25 3:40 a.m. A man briefly made off with deodorant from a Uniontown variety store. He was tracked down nearby, the anti-stink sauce confiscated and a trespassing warning offered.

9:51 a.m. A bar employee called, asking what was being done about the Occupy Arcata encampment on the Plaza.

9:51 a.m. Someone at the police station front door wanted to know when the City was going to “take care” of the smokers, dogs and people pooping upon the Plaza.

1:52 p.m. A Fickle Hill Road house near Redwood Park stinks of young, green plant life of some undetermined type.

4:48 p.m. A citizen reported people both smoking pot and cooking with pots, two of them, on a propane burner on the Plaza’s north side.

5:07 p.m. A woman said that her daughter lives in a cannabis grow house, and that her boyfriend ships a harvest “back east” via FedEx every three months.

8:27 p.m. A woman reported her possibly drugged-up nephew breaking into her house and “eating out of the refrigerator.” He was found lying on the grass and ambulanced to the hospital for treatment of a drug overdose.

9:12 p.m. Travelers had been coming into an Arcata Heights pizza shop over the course of the evening asking for free slices, which are sometimes sold at a discount when there is excess inventory at closing time. When one of the pizza chefs got off work, he took a couple of slices home with him to have for dinner. On leaving, he was followed by one of the guys who had been asking for freebies, a young man with buzz-cut hair and a red backpack. A few blocks up the street, the stalker caught up with and shoved the chef, knocking the pizza box out of his hand and spilling the prized slices on the ground. “What the fuck are you doing?” queried the stunned worker, but the hungry lurker hurriedly gathered up the liberated pizza segments from the pavement and headed north. The worker followed the pizza mugger, asking passersby along the way if he could use their cell phones to report the thief he was tailing, but no one would let him do so until he and his quarry were in the upper reaches of G Street. But by then, the famished slice-jacker had made good his escape. The victim’s backup dining plan wasn’t known. “It was his dinner,” said the robbed chef’s boss. “He had to work all day and someone stole it… Don’t steal people’s food.”

• Tuesday, October 26 8:35 a.m. A caller asked when the City was going to get occupying campers off the Plaza, as they yell at and harass passersby and she didn’t feel safe going near it.

9:18 a.m. An old, limping Golden Retriever wandered into an 11th Street market looking for food. The friendly male dog was fed and tied up out front for pickup and transport to the shelter.

9:30 a.m. A cannabis dispensary security guard complained that there were so many people with tents set up on the Plaza, he couldn’t walk through it to “retrieve his breakfast.”

10:31 a.m. A high school student battling depression met with a concerned counselor, police officer and parents to talk things over.

10:35 a.m. An ex-wife reportedly threatened to release compromising photos of a man unless he loaned her more money. “Buckle your seat belt,” she texted him.

11:17 a.m. Someone wanted to know why the protesters were allowed to camp and have dogs on the Plaza when normally a citizen is not allowed to do so.

11:51 a.m. A citizen complained about the protesters being confrontational with passersby and the amount of “stuff” they had all over the Plaza. He called back to advise that a man trying to sell marijuana and hash had been coming and going from the Plaza.

12:10 p.m. A woman said that her roommate had been acting strange. While he was away today, she found her laptop computer in his closet. He consented to a search of his room, and it wasn’t found. He said he never had it and didn’t know what she was talking about. He gathered up his belongings and left.

1:15 p.m. A 90-year-old woman lodged in a Eureka senior housing facility somehow got the keys to a pickup truck and drove to her former home in Arcata, but couldn’t get in without a housekey.

2:06 p.m. A woman said she drove by the Plaza with her window rolled down and her car filled with the stench of burning marijuana. She said there was a large cloud of pot smoke over the Plaza. She was upset because she is pregnant and couldn’t go near the Plaza because of all the smoke.

• Wednesday, October 27 12:19 p.m. About eight Occupy Arcata protesters briefly encumbered capitalism at the conveniently located east entrance to a Plaza bank. The back doors were locked for a time, but couldn’t stay that way because of fire codes.

4:19 p.m. The Redwood Park gate was smashed, dislodged from its moorings and heavily damaged by something that crashed into it with considerable force.

4:39 p.m. A dog jumped out of a truck and attacked another dog, leading to a big argument between humans. One woman cowered in an H Street shop, afraid to leave due to the intensity of the clash.

7:34 p.m. Occupy Arcata protesters were reported climbing all over the statue of McKinley and his head.

Thursday, October 28 8:13 a.m. A Farmers’ Market food vendor wondered whether the Occupy Arcata protest on the Plaza was going to be moved in time for the Saturday market. In fact, it was to leave that morning.

2:17 p.m. In the early hours of the encampment at City Hall, two of the hangers-on types that bedeviled the protest got into a fistfight. One man was arrested on a public drunkenness charge.

9:35 p.m. An F Street resident let his dog out in his backyard to pee when it surprised a traveler who had been hanging out there. The traveler yelled at the man and said he would kill his dog, then was chased out of the yard, last seen southbound on G Street.

10:40 p.m. A drunk lounged around the lobby of an historic Plaza storehouse, yelling at people and petting the pumpkins in the Halloween displays. He was arrested.

2:15 a.m. Two drunks at the occupation camp loudly  fight-partied, depriving peaceable protesters of their rest. The two were arrested.

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2 Responses to “Cannabis Perma-Cloud Traced To Plaza Stoner Vortex – November 29, 2011”

  1. Valerie Rose-Campbell

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading these. My husband and I found them not only informative but entertaining as well. Thanks for all that you do!

    #46737
  2. Joseph C. Stockett

    I wonder why there is so much drinking in Arcata. You would think folks would want to retain the good affect of their marijuana smoking instead of ruining their buzz with beer or vodka. People should have to do community service hours in exchange for their pot-smoking permit. Homeless folks should be given small shovels so they can dig a hole and defecate like they are at a Rainbow Gathering.

    #48199

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