The Native American kid opens his mouth and sticks it out. “That’s nothing,” says the Irish kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the Rick Santorum whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Native American and Irish kid are stunned and amazed. “Wow, that thing is huge!” they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Rick Santorum’s mother asks him what he did at school today.

“Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book …and during recess, my friends and I played “Let’s see who has the largest tongue.”

“What kind of game is that, honey?” says the mother.

“Well, me, Danny and William each pulled out our tongues, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I’m SuperHeroman. Is that true, Mom?”

The Mom replies: “No, honey. It’s because you’re twenty-three.”