Skeezy Forebears Complicate Life For Today’s Scruffy-But-Upstanding – January 10, 2012
• Wednesday, December 3 9:03 p.m. A man was reported pulling screens off of windows at a Valley West motel.
10:25 p.m. A man was reported pulling screens off of windows at a different Valley West motel.
• Friday, December 2 8:46 a.m. A Bayside Road resident opened her front door to go to work and found a pile of what looked like a heap o’ dog waste with a note stuck in it stating, “It is suggested that you don’t shit where you live.” The note was addressed to a neighbor, the poop-planter having deployed the turd-based admonition at the wrong location.
11:12 a.m. A former employee keeps returning to the workplace from which he had been suspended due to his volatile personality. Police called him and he threatened to call the chief of police and FBI, getting very close to 5150 status.
1:02 p.m. Someone stole a MacBook Pro and $68 from an unlocked bedroom on H Street between 1 and 6 a.m. None of the victim’s roommates knew who dunnit.
1:09 p.m. The way it looked to police, an employee was just protecting himself from an agitated and threatening customer when he drew, but didn’t fire, his pepper spray.
3:36 p.m. A Haeger Avenue residence stinks like growing pot and there’s a lot of coming and going from there. The previous night PG&E came and turned off the electricity because of a huge outstanding power bill.
5:34 p.m. A home invasion robbery in an HSU residence hall set off a search for suspects, which are graually being tracked down and arrested as of this writing.
7:22 p.m. Something named “Louie” at a Valley West gas station became argumentative when told that it’s not legal to fill a glass container with gasoline.
11:57 p.m. Three people huffing some sort of gas out of a balloon at 17th and H streets threw an empty container at someone who walked by.
• Saturday, December 3 2:36 a.m. A drinker in a Samoa Boulevard parking lot was arrested along with a cohort. In some, this would provoke a bout of introspection. But there’s no situation so dismal that it can’t be made abysmal by acting out. En route to jail, he head-butted the screen inside the police car and even his fellow prisoner, earning an assault charge.
9:42 a.m. A rape case was initiated.
• Sunday, December 4 12:04 a.m. A bitchin’ kegger on Stewart Avenue was given a disturbance warning.
• Monday, December 5 5:47 p.m. After a woman texted her mother stating that “This is the worst day of my life,” police checked on her. Firefighters were called to help gain entry to her home, and she was then sent by ambulance to the hospital. Police had to call fire personnel back to the scene to return parts of her door that they had taken.
3:02 p.m. A “scruffy” man was wrongly accused of stealing a backpack at a Valley West motel, suffering unfair profiling because of the skeezy activities committed by his scruffy forebears.
8:58 p.m. Four men and a woman reportedly threw “food” around at a Valley West burger joint, left, came back and threatened the staff, then scampered again.
8:58 p.m. A man asked for police help because after using mouthwash, his alcohol-detecting car ignition interlock wouldn’t let the car start. An officer administered a PAS alcohol test, which came back negative.
• Tuesday, December 6 3:09 p.m. The cell phone connection was sketchy, but a Community Forest bicyclist called to report a mountain lion on Trail 16. He called back later to report that he had made it out OK.
3:30 p.m. A loose goat visited a yard on Old Arcata Road on goat business.
• Wednesday, December 7 3:17 p.m. A vehicle was reported sitting at Foster avenue and Wisteria Way, its doors open and a baby inside. The owner said that he had accidentally flushed the car keys down the toilet of a nearby home, and was working on retrieving a spare set of keys from Eureka.
• Thursday, December 8 9:43 p.m. Police were asked to review a Samoa Boulevard business’s security video to help confirm an embezzlement.
• Friday, December 10 5:55 p.m. A mountain lion was spotted in the 3400 block of Buttermilk Lane.
• Saturday, December 11 12:48 p.m. Two hobos and their flaming shopping cart parted ways at the Spear Avenue/St. Louis Road roundabout. One was arrested on an arson charge.
8:32 p.m. Three men of adventure on the Plaza announced bold plans to pee on the McKinley statue for unfathomable purpose. Police poured out their liquor, told them to stop smoking and head on out, leaving McKinley non-moisturized.
• Sunday, December 12 6:40 p.m. When Tom and Sam returned to the Vanciel Homestead on K Street, so did their goats. Police asked them to get the goats off the sidewalk, and this, like most other encounters with officialdom, this became a tension-filled interaction.
• Monday, December 13 8:34 a.m. When a 60-year-old woman threatened to kill a store manager with a cigarette, it seemed like the onset of a manic episode. Her family took her away for treatment.
4:25 p.m. In the gray gloom of a drizzly winter’s afternoon, an unkempt woman outside a Ninth Street service center screamed about her hunger, demanding food, as the ludicrous giant colorful lollipop she was clutching obviously wasn’t providing any helpful nutrition. “I’m hungry!” she screeched as a couple of other street people tried to calm her. As a man walked past her, she turned and spat on the side of his face for no obvious reason. “Why’d you spit on me?” he asked. “Because I’m hungry,” she said, the cause and effect remaining elusive. Wiping the spittle from his face, the passerby called police, who arrived to detain the disturbed woman and her sucker outside the fire station. The victim declined prosecution of the unwell woman, but was concerned that she might extend her saliva bombardment to the families out Christmas shopping on the Plaza. She was deemed 5150 and taken to a Eureka mental health facility.
• Tuesday, December 14 12:56 a.m. An I Street resident reported two men out front of her house, talking loudly about her Christmas lights. They were asked to move along.
9:09 a.m. The Fire Department’s State of California flag was stolen overnight.
1:15 p.m. A loose goat briefly ruminated at Margaret Lane and Chester Avenue.