Poop And Circumstances – April 5, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012

• Monday, March 5 3:36 a.m. The world will little note nor long remember that a Courtyard Circle resident left a car door open, and that a passing APD officer closed it and secured the car. And rightly so.

7:37 a.m. Two men chosea Valley West pre-school parking lot in which to bitch each other out. One’s fuss-factor was sufficent to require calming steel bracelets. After that everyone departed in different directions.

9:49 a.m. An estranged spouse reported suspicion that the other party in their attenuated relationship had possibly “planted” a bag of white powder, presumably in an area under her dominion.

12:33 p.m. A man in a wheelchair appeared to be more or less marooned in a field in a remote area off O Street. Polce found him and discussed resource options.

1:01 p.m. A Janes Road house was reported super-stenchy with the usual weedy-green aromas.

1:08 p.m. A solar panel valued at $950 was stolen off a boat parked in a Diamond Drive driveway.

4:04 p.m. The piteous whining of a puppy in a vehicle parked on G Street on the Plaza turned out to be mere self-pity, since the pup looked fine, fit and durable enough to withstand a wait in the car.

3:11 p.m. A woman told police that following an altercation with a woman in her apartment complex, she didn’t want to stir up more drama.

3:28 p.m. A woman said that she had ordered some $700 in creams and hand lotions for her business, but never received them. Then the sleazy/slacker lotion vendor had the brazen temerity to call her back and ask if she wanted to order more nonexistent salves and purely purported poultices.

• Tuesday, March 6 3:54 p.m. An Alliance Road resident called on behalf of her elderly neighbor, stating that someone had stolen her antique dolls, vases and jewelry.

5:28 p.m. Someone found a student’s wallet bulging with cash, credit cards, coins ID and more fungibles, and turned it in.

• Wednesday, March 7 1:56 a.m. A man wearing a green fuzzy hat was reported going door to door at the cheapest of Valley West motels, asking lodgers if they wanted to buy marijuana. At least one rugged individualist proved disinterested in the high holy herb, and soon police were on hand, forever banishing the fuzzy nug-slinger and four questionable cohorts on pain of trespass.

5:56 a.m. An APD frequent flyer on lower H Street called to report that someone had drugged him “with LSD or something,” and had meddled with his phone lines.

8:56 a.m. A big ’ol garbage bag ’o trim was reported dumped on the switchback path from Seventh Street to the Community Park. It didn’t survive the 20 minutes it took officers to arrive on scene.

9:34 a.m. A Fickle Hill Road resident has had it with the vehicular zoomers racing down his steep street.

8:08 p.m. An I Street earth media outlet reported someone in a baseball cap and wheelchair trying to break in using a set of keys that had been stolen the previous day. Police arrested one subject on burglary charges.

• Thursday, March 8 12:32 a.m. After allegedly striking a police car and breaking a taillight on the Plaza, a sub-sub-genius was arrested on charges of vandalism, malicious mischief and public drunkenness.

9:09 a.m. A woman unceremoniously took a dump in front of her car at Eighth and L streets. Police found her and warned her about the Arcata Municipal Code, which requires, if not pomp and circumstance, at least pooping in a less public circumstance.

10:21 a.m. An elementary school called to report a box full of CDs and empty, though possible used  urine containers left in the parking lot.

11:45 a.m. A cardboard signholder at 14th and K streets advertised that he “WILL WORK FOR WEED,” which concerned someone since there were a lot of high school students in the area. The weedy would-be worker had wandered when police arrived.

11:46 a.m. Police escorted a Public Works employee to the Occupy Arcata Heights house on K Street to shut off the water, but by then the yelling-types had departed.

6:22 p.m. A woman arrives at Bel Aire Avenue every morning and honks her car horn while picking up her children, much to the annoyance of honk-beleagured residents. Police were going to try to reason with her.

6:37 p.m. Some sort of unspecified business entity reported a gun found in a safety deposit box. The serial number came back as stolen.