The Rutabaga Queens say “bring us your kooky, your fabulous, your showoffs.” Yes, for those who dare seek to reign supreme over the Kinetic Kingdom, there is still time to earn a crown. The job description: Have fun.

A Queen will be chosen to preside over the 2012 Kinetic Grand Championship at the Rutabaga Ball, Saturday, May 19 at 7 p.m. at Arcata’s Portuguese Hall. Tickets are $10. All ages are invited to dance and play, enjoy refreshments at the Queen’s Bar, rock out to the music of Eyes Anonymous, and see the crowning of a new Queen. To win the coveted crown, contestants will strive for superiority in competitions of ballgown, talent, and water crossing. “We try to keep the definition of a Rutabaga Queen open to interpretation,” says 2007 Queen Emma the EmChantress. “If you’ve ever been asked to ‘tone it down,’ you should probably come on out to the Rutabaga Ball and turn it up instead.”

Hopeful Monarchs can find spiritual guidance and helpful information at the newly updated RutabagaQueen.com. There is only one criterion that the Queens use to choose their new cohort: Who will make the best Rutabaga Queen? Her or his or its hopeful majesty will need to impress the judges with panache and creativity.

As with all Kinetic events, bribing the Rutabaga Royalty is encouraged. (The Queens are quick to point out though that the competition is about the Queen’s personality, not their pocketbook.) The curious are encouraged to contact the Royal Family directly with any questions about what it takes to become the next Kinetic Queen.

Full contest rules and application are available at RutabagaQueen.com or at (707) 616-5703.