Completion Of Pee-And-Pass-Out Ballet Eludes Dumpster Denizen – August 3, 2012

Friday, August 3, 2012

• Tuesday, July 3 7:23 p.m. A gray Dodge pickup with a camper shell in Dorothy Court was stuffed with garbage bags full of what appeared to be marijuana, and several persons loitered nearby.

• Wednesday, July 4 2:08 a.m. A man reported talking to a stranger on Sunset Avenue who told him that she had lost her house in an earthquake. As she drove off in a silver Prius, the man wrote down the license plate, but when police checked, the number returned to a different type of vehicle.

9:10 p.m. A man with a nose tattoo took a nap on the sidewalk at Ninth and H streets, but pavement-sleepytime ended with an arrest for public drunkenness.

• Thursday, July 5 2:43 a.m. Tina Court and Loreli Lane might have been the most  patriotic place in all Arcata, what with the abundance of pounding music, bellowing drunks, trash strewage and illegal fireworks. Possibly acting under Agenda 21 directives, police issued a disturbance notice to these freedom-loving patriots, asked the responsible resident to take down the All-American mortar tubes and clean up the shrapnel in the street. Otherwise the City commissars would do so and bill them for it.

10:27 a.m. A Janes Road children’s center had a break-in, with toilets plugged up, property damaged and doors left open. Two days later, same thing again.

4:15 p.m. A truck with 2008 registration tags was parked against traffic at a 27th Street apartment building. “Superman” was written on the side in yellow.

4:40 p.m. A woman too drunk to walk called for an ambulance on westernmost 11th Street. As emergency personnel were dispatched, she claimed an assault had taken place as well. Then she refused police assistance.

4:51 p.m. A landlord went by his just-vacated rental on Zehndner Avenue, only to find it occupied by two men and a woman. A former tenant gave her a key and told her she could stay there one week. The landlord evicted the squatters.

• Saturday, July 7 12:15 a.m. Cringing in a cheap Valley West motel room, a man whispered into the phone that people he couldn’t describe were outside his door, forming a plot to assault him. Police didn’t see any lurkers, and the man admitted that he was coming off  drugs and was paranoid.

11:19 a.m. A man in a green hat and the requisite backpack was reported hitting things and harassing shoppers at 11th and H streets.

5:48 p.m. A man in the 1000 block of G Street proposed smashing someone’s face in as an alternative outcome, were the face’s owner not to repay a debt. Police checked the area, finding all faces in proper working order.

7:12 p.m. A man in a green baseball cap demonstrated both coordination and multitasking as, without loosening his vise-like grasp on a succulent alcoholic beverage, managed to also kick things and throw rocks at a Valley West shopping center.

9:45 p.m. A dog with a broken leg was found near the high school, and taken to the on-call veterinarian.

• Sunday, July 8 12:32 a.m. A man enjoyed a knuckle sandwich after calling a woman something redacted but likely quite unkind.

4:09 p.m. A man called 911 to state that he had warrants out for his arrest and he wanted an officer to come and pick him up. He then put the phone down, said “there,” and walked away. People could be heard on the phone laughing in the background. An officer soon arrived and arrested the man on a warrant.

5:36 p.m. A bicycle was left chained up on lower G Street for more than six months, attracting the attention of a passerby who started dismantling it for parts. He was told he couldn’t do that.

6:19 p.m. A camouflage jacket’s obscuring powers are somewhat diminished when its contents howl and screech at passersby outside a cheap motel. After “acting weird,” the excited man in camo slipped into a nearby golden arches, and that seemed to calm his not-so-well-disguised nerves.

• Monday, July 9 1:07 p.m. A Tanglewood Road resident reported a bear in his trash the previous night.

2:08 p.m. A somewhat versatile man was reported peeing and passing out near a lower G Street dumpster. But apparently he couldn’t complete the second phase of this staggeringly complex operation, as police found him conscious enough to respond to a trespassing warning.

4:12 p.m. A neighbor complained of noisy chickens and roosters on Old Arcata Road.

5:25 p.m. A he-she tussle in the 900 block of G Street had a canine controversy at its core. “Upon my arrival, both parties were pulling the dog,” said an officer. The woman showed proof that the animal was hers, but the man said he had paperwork proving it was his, and vowed to take her to court.

9:17 p.m. A woman responded to a Craigslist ad for a Fifth Street apartment, and dutifully wired $600 to  the landlord in Nigeria. Except that the recipient wasn’t the property owner.

• Tuesday, July 10 1:21 a.m. Four youths tried to heist a bottle of alcohol at a Uniontown supermarket, failed, then attempted a similar maneuver at a nearby variety store with similar non-results. The buzz-bereft boyos milled about on the sidewalk for a bit, then wandered.

9:50 a.m. Two propane tanks were taken from behind a Valley West store overnight.

10:03 a.m. A bald-headed man with a face tattoo and a military jacket peered into windows on 13th and 14th streets, inspiring a call to police. He was gone when officers arrived.

4:26 p.m. A Van Dyke Court allowed a traveler to stay at his home while he was away. The houseguest illegally downloaded music, and now there are “Internet violations” pending.

11:36 p.m. A car containing four fun-lovin’ XY-chromosomal iterations unsteadily circled the Plaza, ejaculating bottles along its wobbly way.

• Wednesday, July 11 5:36 a.m. A man sitting outside the Community Center either groaning or singing, and appeared to be in distress.

7:07 a.m. A man at 11th and H streets wore only pants, and not very well, as his unconscionable nether regions were exposed.

9:09 a.m. A Courtyard Circle upstairs resident “marches” through the apartment and bangs cupboards all night.

10:52 a.m. A Bayside Road resident said money was stolen from his bedroom as he slept.

12:26 p.m. A woman called police speaking nonsensically about venom making people commit crimes. She refused to give her location or accept assistance.

10:07 p.m. A tatter of travelers commenced mischief near a Plaza bar. The alpha of the erratic ensemble, a bald man in a hoodie, motated his merry mass of miscreants to the Plaza’s center. Acting on the theory that proximity to drinking establishments correlated to excitable erroneousness on their behalf, they were warned to stay away from the bars.

10:13 p.m. Someone tried to phone in an order for $1,600 in pizza to a take-out place, but was refused.

• Thursday, July 11 1:43 p.m. A man reported the theft of his “Swiss” backpack from the Plaza the night before, but the story seemed to have holes in it.

6:10 p.m. After one kid took another’s bike, their parents got into a big argument.

• Saturday, July 13 10:22 a.m. Calls came in about a skunk with a plastic jug on its head wandering in circles on the freeway near Giuntoli Lane. On-call wildlife officials said they would only be able to dispatch, that is, shoot the animal, and the CHP was notified.

1:50 p.m. A man was found smoking some sort of drugs off aluminum foil outside the hospital ER. He was cited for a narcotics offense and taken to the hospital, which, conveniently, was just a few footsteps away.

7:54 p.m. A Heather Lane resident said a stalker named “Maya” had knocked on her door, which she didn’t answer. She was told to keep her doors locked.

8:28 p.m. The same woman called to say that she had heard a “bird call,” and she was pretty sure it was the stalker. She was evaluated and found not crazy enough to institutionalize.

9:47 p.m. Youths and travelers commingled at the Veterans’ Park, with alcohol “and other shenanigans” present. Police dispersed the shamble of shenanigators.

• Sunday, July 14 4:46 a.m. Four   underinformed souls left their cars on the Plaza overnight, only to have them towed off to make way for the Farmers’ Market food and festivities.

6:31 a.m. An officer found a man in a car behind the Plaza bars, detaining him long enough to learn that the subject was wanted in Spokane, Wash. on something sufficiently serious for him to be extradited.

7:22 a.m. An unhappy customer was reported making a scene at an I Street store, including taking pictures of employees. He was banished and advised of civil procedures for addressing his issues.

10:05 a.m. A Uniontown pet store reported the theft of a dog harness by two teenagers. An officer roved the Plaza, eventually locating suspects at the Veterans’ Park. At least one was arrested.

4:30 p.m. A theft victim picked up some of her property which had been found, but accidentally took a cookbook that didn’t belong to her. She brought it back.

4:56 p.m. Two loose pit bulls went on the hunt on Spear Avenue, treeing a cat. They were secured in a backyard and an officer’s card with a note left behind. Soon a housesitter arrived and called in. He said he would contact the homeowner and tell her.

10:08 p.m. Two intoxicated men beat each other with canes in the Plaza’s center. The cudgelsome clobberers’ co-caning was complete when cops came.

• Monday, July 16 3 a.m. A Charles Avenue resident reported slithy tove-like activity in his carport, and thought maybe it was the same guys who came to his place after he advertised items on that ever-reputable forum, Craigslist. Then he said he heard something in the bushes. Police found a possibly stolen vehicle with an iPhone and iPod Touch inside, arrested two suspects and had the car towed.

6:13 a.m. A man broke a bathroom window and entered a Patrick Court residence. The thin man in a sideways black hat said he was on drugs and had been told to do this. He left as the resident called police, and wasn’t found.

8:57 a.m. A Uniontown store reported a shirtless man staggering in the parking lot and yelling at people, as though there was something unusual about that. He and some colleagues were sent on their way.

9:34 a.m. A man called 911 from South G Street asking for an ambulance. An officer found him there in a rather agitated state, complaining of pain on his lower right leg. He refused an ambulance, saying that he’d rather walk across town to the hospital on the hurt leg. He had no noticeable injury other than a red rash on his ankle.

10:29 a.m. A Bayside Road resident said his car had been abandoned in Eureka by two younger males. Inside was “lots of property” and blood.

10:46 a.m. Some guys left a Union Street apartment the previous night to pick up some pizza and on the way got into an altercation with four to five travelers, who they said “jumped” them. One took a shovel from a maintenance vehicle and beat a guy with it, which surprised his roommate on his return home in a blood-soaked state. Hospital officials said the victims didn’t want any police contact.

11:17 a.m. He’s a feisty codger yelling into a cell phone at those idiots at the insurance company about his flat tire. She’s a grumpy granny wielding a hoe and yelling at the old man. The caller was a Haeger Avenue passerby who mistook the senior squabble for a fight.

1:07 p.m. A Park Avenue resident reported tenants moving out and leaving the yard strewn with property and dirt left on a vehicle.

1:08 p.m. A man went snitty-deluxe at a Valley West gas station, yelling and shaking his mighty fist at the female clerk before stalking off in what would have to pass for triumph toward a mobile home park.

5:49 p.m. A woman asked that police provide extra patrol in the area where her car was parked due to issues with an extremely former friend.

9:24 p.m. A red mountain bike left unattended for a few minutes disappeared.

• Tuesday, July 17 8:25 a.m. It appears skunks are resurgent, as their wacky misadventures are popping up all over town. On Spear Avenue, a trap which had been set to capture an ailing raccoon instead netted a striped-stinky specimen. The caller wasn’t sure what to do with the critter.

9:02 a.m. A $700 Gary Fisher Monona mountain bike (serial no. WTV207CO933F) locked up in front of a house on westernmost 11th Street was stolen. After cutting the lock, the thief flung the bolt cutters behind some weeds.

12:52 p.m. A woman stole a colorful t-shirt from an H Street shop and fled toward the Plaza.

1:23 p.m. A Scott Court resident reported a skunk in his backyard, something he thought strange since he has two dogs who presumably maintain stringent standards.

4:20 p.m. A mountain motorbike that didn’t need a key to start it disappeared from downtown sometime during the night.

4:44 p.m. A man was reported abusing a keyfob near 10th and H streets, “randomly hitting it at vehicles like it possibly didn’t belong to him.”

4:47 p.m. A father called requesting “formal charges” be pressed against his son, who he said had stolen his gas card and charged $300, and hadn’t repaid him for a truck. But it doesn’t work that way, and he was advised of civil remedies.

5:28 p.m. Golf Course Road residences were burgled of their X-Boxes, with a wet footprint and single glove left behind by the thief.

5:44 p.m. An L Street resident said someone had stuck a garden hose through his open window, flooding the apartment. Seeking witnesses, he took the matter up with a neighbor, who argued with him. He thought she was upset with him for calling police two days earlier over a previous dispute. The neighbor denied the hose attack.

8:44 p.m. Two drunks were scraped off the corner of Ninth and H.