Melvin-Rich Scenario Collapses – August 18, 2012

Saturday, August 18, 2012

• Saturday, July 28 1:54 p.m.  A passerby surmised that some youths congregating at Shirley Boulevard and Beverly Drive were fixing to set off a rocket. An officer spoke with the group, detecting no sign of aspirations to a space program of any scale.

9:12 p.m.  An L.K. Wood Boulevard resident reported a possible snake under his bed. He rephoned to report that he and a friend had captured the serpent and would release it outside.

• Sunday, July 29 1:02 a.m. An unlocked vehicle full of fungibles formed a familiar premise and a slithy tove-magnet. Specifics of this theft were: Eye Street, a hand drum, jumper cables, various electronics and sandbag weights.

10:06 a.m. A New Moon Avenue resident entertained a guest from Eureka, who, a roommate later claimed, used the hospitality to steal some of her stuff – jewelry, a New York driver’s license and an expired credit card.

3:10 p.m. An unattended gym bag in a health club locker room was relieved of $60 to $80 cash.

3:56 – 5:10 p.m.  Bicycles were reported stolen and found at Union Street apartment complexes.

5:25 p.m. Twitchy-looking panhandlers were suspected of being “on something” outside a Valley West dollar store. They were told to settle down.

8:24 p.m. A hospital patient detached her intravenous tubing and strolled outside in her hospital gown to smoke a cigarette.

• Tuesday, July 31 12:58 a.m. A Park Avenue landlord reported unknown persons associated with the Occupy movement occupying his rental home and not allowing him entry. Police stood by with the landlor to determine that the occupant was actually the renter and a guest. But he was being evicted in a week anyway.

2:15 a.m. A woman discharged from the hospital after surgery was seen labriously making her way on crutches from Janes Road to Westwood Center in the middle of the night. Someone was concerned about her well-being, but police checked all possible routes and didn’t find her.

5:25 a.m. Something named “Melvin” was reported scurrying around with a handgun ’twixt a Valley West burger joint and a cheap motel. The caller claimed he had been the victim of a home invasion robbery earlier in the day and this Melvin character may have been involved. When police contacted him, he walked back his Melvin-rich story, describing a vague encounter in the night. An officer offered to further investigate the man’s purported home invasion-related Melvining, but he said he was too busy.

7:19 a.m. An extremely thin deer “with a glare in its eye” panted rapidly as it sat underneath a redwood tree on Union Street. Fish and Game was called in to dart the odd-behaving animal for transport and examination elsewhere.

9:20 a.m. A Kentucky company called a man to confirm an online order made with his credit card. Since he hadn’t made any order, it was cancelled and for good measure, so was the card.

12:31 p.m. When a resident in the 900 block of Beverly Drive moved out of her rental home, she left a bunch of her stuff there as well as her two cats. An officer observed that “they are both in the backyard and appear to be very hungry.” One was captured and taken to the shelter; the other was skittish and wouldn’t cooperate.

12:45 p.m. A turn on Trail 19 in the Arcata Community Forest was reportedly “sabotaged” by someone who placed several sticks around it.

4:48 p.m. A man in a gray baseball cap was overheard talking with other males about “getting even” with someone on the Plaza who had ripped them off.

7:09 p.m. A naked woman was seen jumping a fence near Westwood Center. Police found her tipsy in a backyard, and advised her to leave a male resident alone.

• Wednesday, August 1 2:12 a.m. A Diamond Drive resident, possibly emboldened by the tangy adult beverages he had just quaffed, found uncommon fellowship and understanding with his neighbor, if by uncommon fellowship and understanding we mean that he banged on the guy’s door and wall, then stood outside his window, yelling, “Come out, bitch!” and “Let’s do this!” He denied making the tender entreaties, but two witnesses said it was so. He was advised to remain in his domicile for the time being.

11:52 a.m. A dog in a car in a downtown parking lot successfully nipped a passerby. The vehicle owner was contacted, but no citation issued.

1:38 p.m. The back of an H Street business was left infested with beer cans and cigarette butts left behind by nocturnal lurkers. Given the depth and density of the debris, it appeared to the unhappy business owner that the scrunge-dumpers had lingered in the area “for hours.” Extra patrols were assigned.

3:48 p.m. A caller at an Arcata Heights bank reported that he had been threatened by someone who “kicked a bush.” Stating that he was speaking on a cell phone in public, he refused to answer a dispatcher’s questions and had no description of the suspect. He wouldn’t identify himself by name, but gave his Social Security number and birth date. He wanted police to go after the alleged threatener, but was told he’d have to meet with an officer and identify himself. He didn’t want to do that, so the upshot is, a craven bush-kicker roams among us with impunity.

8:14 p.m. A man with a bleeding face on the Plaza had become that way during a clash moments earlier at a minor movie theatre up the street. He said errant youths had attacked when he refused to buy alcohol for them. A bystander described a less heroic scene: the guy had been harassing passersby, and when he got physical, someone knocked him over.

9:34 p.m. A man seen peeing on the wall behind a Northtown restaurant was asked to leave. He sort of complied, but seemed unready to make the emotional break with his urine, and just went around the block and came back to further dwell in the vapors of the acrid plume and process his wee bereavement.

• Thursday, August 2 3:16 a.m. A woman arrived at the checkout lane of a 24-hour Uniontown variety store with a shopping basket, set it down and told the cashier she was going to get her wallet. She started to walk away, then darted back to the basket, grabbed something and ran out of the store. An employee called police, noting that the woman’s car was still in the lot and guessing that she was still in the area. An officer came and watched the security video, then went out and waited for her to come back to her car. She did, and was arrested on a warrant.

6:12 a.m. A hitchhiker at the Samoa Boulevard freeway onramp impishly if not endearingly used an umbrella or stick or something to “shoot at” passing cars.

9:27 a.m. A man said he gave a Valley West thrift store a singing doll to sell for him on consignment, but never received payment. Now the doll was gone and the employee he gave it to doesn’t work there any more. He was told it was a civil matter.

2:39 p.m. A traveler who had enjoyed a hearty serving of Fruity Pebbles out on the train tracks complained that they had been aced with something described as “acid” – either the hallucinogen or the corrosive substance. He was hospitalized and his dog taken to the shelter.