Booze-Woozed Brainpans Basted In Belligerence – September 24, 2012
• Monday, August 13 8:09 p.m. A caller from Sunny Brae reported a mother dove with a boken leg walking with two baby doves toward Arcata. An officer couldn’t locate any dove delegation.
9:20 p.m. A 10th Street resident reported a large man with long hair wearing a black jacket with a Grateful Dead patch lurking outside her bedroom window and breathing loud enough for her to hear, as though there was something suspicious about this. Police arrived and arrested a man on charges of drug possession, trespassing and resisting arrest.
• Tuesday, August 14 12:47 a.m. Two mental states so frequently found cohabitating in booze-woozed brainpans – drunkenness and belligerence – defined two grumpy guzzlers at 10th and J streets. One, a woman, was arrested on a public drunkenness charge.
6:17 a.m. A Greenbriar Lane resident’s story of an attempted porch break-in included an intruder with a knife and a counterattack by the resident’s dog. But police checked his file and found previous “fantastical reports” and no porch damage.
11:35 a.m. A Samoa Boulevard busness was repeatedly pummeled by oranges. Actually by someone who threw them.
12:38 p.m. Someone has a loud band in Antoine Court, and all the usual noise complaints are being called in.
1:11 p.m. A woman took a phone call from someone with a heavy Indian accent that made them hard to understand, but the upshot was a warning that a computer virus was about to infect her computer. A *69 callback led to a local variety store that changed ownership in 2003, and the whole thing appeared to be a rather clumsy scam.
3:19 p.m. An F Street restaurant’s tip jar with about $50 in it was stolen by a guy who didn’t order anything.
3:30 p.m. A family at the Marsh’s South I Street parking lot disenjoyed an old white van which drove up at a quick clip, its driver first staring at them, then flipping them off for reasons unknown. When the fam drove away, the van followed them, striking a sign on the way to Samoa Boulevard.
• Thursday, August 16 12:47 a.m. An Airstream Avenue resident said a neighbor in black velvet pants and green shirt had come over, weeping and complaining that her boyfriend had been assaulting her. She said she couldn’t remember her last name, then left.
9:28 a.m. A woman said a finance company called “Resurgiant Capital Services” was demanding payment for a motorcycle she had paid off in 2007.
9:49 a.m. Slumpy Toves in baggy garments slouched about the area of Stromberg Avenue and Cropley Way, looking for low-effort groundscores. Clad in the latest pants-falling-down chic, the ambulatory clothes hampers were said to be snooping into cars, fishing for fungibles.
10:18 a.m. Backpacks stashed in City Hall’s lobby were booked into found property.
10:51 a.m. Nettlesome nincompoops were reported causing a stir outside City Hall. They told an officer they were looking for a ride to Eureka, but their methodology – yelling at and arguing with passersby – was proving non-productive.
4:52 p.m. A “strong odor” issuing from a Madrone Way house led to suspicions of a grow house, and a report was forwarded to Special Services.
5:29 p.m. A teenage girl fell off her bike and sustained facial injuries at 14th Street and L.K. Wood Boulevard.
8:43 p.m. When a man was admitted to the hospital, this left his bedridden wife at home alone and without care. Police were asked to go to the home and look in the pocket of a red houndstooth jacket hanging on the bedroom door to find a list of care providers.
9:01 p.m. A larcenous lout in a “LIVID” t-shirt stole a bottle of rum from a Westwood Center supermarket.
10:27 p.m. At its peak, the he-she argument at a Union Street apartment complex featured her yelling, “Stop! You’re scaring the children.” Then things subsided.
11:08 p.m. A woman said that during an argument with her boyfriend, he grabbed her by the hair and threw her down, then locked her and her children out of their apartment. When police arrived, he had stalked off, shirtless. Police found him in the back parking lot with a head laceration, and called police. At the request of ambulance crew, an officer rode in the back with them as they took the guy to the hospital.
• Friday, August 17 10:12 a.m. A customer with an issue entered a Valley West store and trained a video camera on the staff, refusing to leave. Police persuaded him to depart.
11:04 a.m. A man parked his car at Ninth and F streets to have lunch, and when he returned, three magnetic signs worth $100 had been removed and stolen.
3:22 p.m. A woman said a man known only by the charming street name of “Turtle” had socked her in the jaw on the Plaza. She refused medical aid.
4:21 p.m. Other than the vandalism to the house and refusing to pay the rent, things were going swimmingly between Chester Avenue tenants and their landlord.
4:52 p.m. A woman said that someone named “Jumpshot,” who had engineered her radio show, had yelled profanities at her and told her to leave an I Street store.
5:02 p.m. A woman said that her ex-roommate had mailed her a housekey, but when she got the letter our of the mail, it had been opened and the key removed. Police weren’t sure if this happened in the mail or what.
6:41 p.m. The term “creepy ex” isn’t exactly uncommon, but rarely is it associated with the theft of a miniature Conestoga-style wagon replica. A woman was surprised to see a sheep wagon given her by her mother and decorated with all kinds of Christian symbology featured on the Eye’s Facebook page as one of the items in the Historical Sites Society of Arcata’s annual Collectibles Sale. The vengeful ex had apparently donated it and some other items rather than give them back to the wronged woman. Long story short, she asked the HSSA for the wagon, they gave it to her and she was happy to have the treasured family heirloom back.
9:18 p.m. After falling and hurting her head, a woman complained of confusion and “manifestations.” She was hospitalized.
• Saturday, August 18 8:58 a.m. As a woman parked her car on H Street, a man in dirty jeans peered into her back seat and tried to sell her a bracelet. She described him as a “hustler.”
9:26 a.m. A bearded man was reported pacing back and forth on Eye Street, looking “sketchy.” The free-prance artist wasn’t framed for canvassing the ‘hood, but was identified and asked to draw his attention elsewhere.
11:15 a.m. A man strode east on Giuntoli Lane, falling down at least three times and “acting funny.” He was found at a nearby apartment complex, detained at taserpoint and taken to the crazy house.
12:28 p.m. A man with “items tied around his waist” was reported touching children and following women at Ninth and H streets. Police interviewed him and sent him along.
2:58 p.m. A woman said her husband was feeling homicidal. he was deemed 5150 and committed to the usual mental health facility.
4:50 p.m. A woman called from an Alliance Road apartment to tell police that everyone is afraid of her and other nonsensical statements. An officer went to see if she, like so much of the rest of the populace this day, was crazy. She wasn’t. She said she just wanted to talk to someone.
5:56 p.m. When a six-year-old girl was shoved on Spruce Way, she sustained a minor injury to her pinky finger.
7:26 p.m. A man on a blue bicycle rode up to a Valley West no-budget motel, and from ’neath his jaunty hat, emanating approximately from the location of his beard, came a request for a room. Alas, related the night clerk in so many words, the place was already full up with the usual Saturday night retinue of tweakers and whores, leaving no room at the inn for him. The behatted biker took the news poorly, punching the wall and even taking a swing at the employee. At that, he re-mounted his wheeled steed and rode off northbound on Valley West Boulevard.
• Sunday, August 19 12:55 a.m. A man wearing a Washington Huskies sweatshirt doused a Plaza tavern with pee, inspiring a 911 call over the urinary crisis. He was arrested for being punk in drublic.
5:01 a.m. A woman at a Bayside apartment complex was reported rolling around on the ground and crying as a man looked on. Next she was reported wandering the complex, yelling for a “Christopher.” She was given a courtesy ride to the police station for pickup by a responsible party.
9:54 a.m. A caller reported a raccoon in a tree at Samoa Boulevard and K Street, with crows and ravens circling the treed creature. When an officer checked the area 14 minutes later, the raccoon was nowhere in sight. Reads the dispatcher log narrative, “They’re just as good at getting down from from trees as they are at getting up them.”
1:01 p.m. Tavern Alley roamabouts turned on one another over issues unknown but undoubtedly weighty. At one point, three of the leisurely lurkers punched ’n’ pummeled one guy, leaving him sitting and recovering from blows to the head. But per the usual script, he refused medical treatment, at least at first. After refusing to answer questions or say what happened, he consented to medical attention and got into the waiting ambulance.
7:27 p.m. A freaked-out mom reported her daughter gone for three hours, which had never happened before. The mom had checked Co-op, Wildberries, the library and ice cream shop, but the girl was nowhere to be found. Yet, an officer was able to locate the missing girl at the library and she was returned to her mother.
• Monday, August 20 2:37 a.m. A pair of bears made their way down Charles Avenue, leaving a trail of toppled trash toters in their wake.
12:43 p.m. Slouchabouts at 10th and J streets took time out from drinking and smoking to argue with a utility worker and someone else at 10th and J streets.