It is so easy to become jaded about electoral politics. I’m an eternal optimist and even I have lapses. So much money is spent... »
Police Log
Vulgarians Meld Into Loonscape – December 12, 2011
8:48 p.m. It took a week for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship to evolve from sweetness and light to hysteria and police involvement. »
We’ll Always Have Bongos – December 3, 2011
10:33 p.m. Someone shoved a pregnant woman at Ninth and H streets, but maybe he had a good reason. »
Cannabis Perma-Cloud Traced To Plaza Stoner Vortex – November 29, 2011
12:27 p.m. An argumentative sort of fellow was reported walking toward the center of the Plaza. He should have been easy to spot, given his distinguishing characteristics: a backpack and long hair. »
Stash-Sucking Dashboard Repels Inveiglers – November 18, 2011
4:08 p.m. A man with a bullhorn was reported annoying customers at a G Street bank while effecting a global shift in consciousness. »
Propriety Restored Under Lusty Freeway Overpass – November 8, 2011
5:44 a.m. The man who’d previously described himself as “charred and buzzy” was showing improvement. Now he said he had a “buzzing” feeling in his body, but he didn’t want an ambulance because he had heard that this was a felony. »
New Hope For The Charred And Buzzy – November 1, 2011
7:10 a.m. After partially smoking a cigarette, a lower H Street resident reported feeling as though he had a spike through his head. An ambulance was summoned. »
Police Disambiguate Bi-Modal Bibulator – October 24, 2011
• Saturday, August 17 8:41 a.m. A woman sat at Blakeslee Avenue and Q Street with a dog, far from the rich muttering grounds downtown and carrying on a dialogue with herself about hating California. »
Drunko-Destructo Found Defuncto – October 17, 2011
8:10 a.m. A Villa Way resident reported hearing some kind of alarm in the area for the past few days. Police traced the sound to a neighbor’s smoke alarm, the batteries of which were dying and causing the device to emit death-chirps. »
Dog Poop Fairy Leaves Three-Bag Blessing – October 10, 2011
6:56 p.m. Hoodie-ensconced philosophers quibbled over quiddity’s finer points at an Alliance Road mini-mart. “I know where you live, bitch,” reasoned one participant. »
Drivers Surrender Wallets, Cash, Computers To Avoid Excruciating Pressing Of Car Door Lock Button – October 4, 2011
11:08 a.m. His breakfast was a pint of vodka, brunch was a drunken brawl in which a tooth was liberated and the mid-day Moment of Zen was serenely wandering out of the hospital untreated and ignoring the appeals of medical staff. »
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