29 search results for "slithy toves"

Barbarian’s Bad-Boy Garb Completes Misogynistic Mission – June 17, 2012

By kevpod

4:01 p.m. A caller reported a man in a baseball cap and tank top carrying out the misogyny commonly associated with these disreputable garments by yelling at a woman and making her cry, then taking a swing at her. Police found her unharmed and the argument verbal only, but they warned the man to... »

Nitrous-Betingled Pornlifters Charge iThingies During Parking Lot Daycare Sesh – June 3, 2012

By kevpod

8:46 p.m. By way of emphasizing an important point during an argument with employees at a Northtown shop, a woman threw her sandwich at them and then scuttled off over the pedestrian footbridge. »

Magellanic Meta-Thuglets Drift, Drink, De-Nebulate – February 28, 2012

By kevpod

1:49 p.m. Humboldt Homie: jeans, pitbull, wife that threatens your ex that she’ll “beat her ass.” »

Propriety Restored Under Lusty Freeway Overpass – November 8, 2011

By kevpod

5:44 a.m. The man who’d previously described himself as “charred and buzzy” was showing improvement. Now he said he had a “buzzing” feeling in his body, but he didn’t want an ambulance because he had heard that this was a felony. »

Drunko-Destructo Found Defuncto – October 17, 2011

By kevpod

8:10 a.m. A Villa Way resident reported hearing some kind of alarm in the area for the past few days. Police traced the sound to a neighbor’s smoke alarm, the batteries of which were dying and causing the device to emit death-chirps. »

Drivers Surrender Wallets, Cash, Computers To Avoid Excruciating Pressing Of Car Door Lock Button – October 4, 2011

By kevpod

11:08 a.m. His breakfast was a pint of vodka, brunch was a drunken brawl in which a tooth was liberated and the mid-day Moment of Zen was serenely wandering out of the hospital untreated and ignoring the appeals of medical staff. »

Whose Driver’s License Is This And Why Is It In My Bed? – September 10, 2011

By kevpod

2:39 p.m. A man called from a bar bathroom, saying he was having an allergic reaction. This set police off on a toilet tour of Tavern Row, starting at the east end and working west. »

Bungee-Bound Argument Service’s Slacker Staff Snoozes In Street – August 9, 2011

By kevpod

By Abigail Lovelace and Kevin L. Hoover Arcata Eye • Saturday, July 2 1:08 p.m. A tipsy-sounding man called 911 saying that he had just bought his wife a new car. She works at a county agency, and he said the 911 dispatcher needed to tell her to go to the car dealership to... »

Anarchist Larvae Symbolically Hone Obstinacy Skills By Uprooting ‘Yield’ Sign – July 7, 2011

By kevpod

2:47 p.m. Perhaps excited out of their wits at the thought of baking pans and five-cent lamps, people left their cars in no-parking zones en route to a garage sale. »

Gallantry Is Golden – April 2, 2011

By kevpod

11:37 p.m. Festivities at a dainty soirée in the 400 block of Fourth Street became slightly unruly when a woman in the parking area started vomiting. A gallant male attendee clad in reversed baseball cap and camouflage jacket rushed to her aid with a somewhat unconventional form of assistance – urinating on her, then... »